Warning: Sense of humour required to go past this point. If lacking one please do not read the page below
This page is NOT going to tell you how I'm going to take over the world, nor is it going to tell you how to stop me! It's just a few 'lesser' ways that it could be done. (also, see here for ideas on how to make your little empire last longer than a few days)
As an introduction, one of the ideologies is the Dogbert view of life (Dilbert.com). This is only practical to run through once you have gathered a significant amount of power and momentum anyway, so it doesn't really count as a world domination method as such.
The Dogbert view is to say that everyone who he deems to be stupid ought not to live, and the rest should serve him. (just to point out, Dogbert also thinks that anyone who disagrees with him is by definition stupid...). He is in the process of setting up the DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class) to control the world. He also has the best plan for getting rid of most stereotypical Americans (and peoples of similar intelligence).
Order them to walk into the ocean. If they are gullible enough to it... This of course should be followed by a similar order telling everyone NOT to walk into the oceans under any circumstances, for no particular reason. That should catch the conspiracy theorists and anti-authoritarian people.
Another method include a red telephone... (start an anonymous global war, find a bunker, and finally declare yourself ruler of whatever is left). The upside of this is that war produces the fastest technological growth, the downside is that there normally isn't much of a world left to rule. - please see the Military Option for expansion on this method
As far as I can make out there are four standard methods of global domination, and (thanks to things like TV and the Internet) a relatively new one. I have outlined the basics of the various domination techniques in the links below/dropdown from this tab...
This is the classic, and most popular form of world domination where you take over the Earth through pure military might and weapons of mass destruction. To achieve this end you will need to build up your weapons arsenal as soon as possible. Nuclear missiles, conventional armies, tanks/planes, giant robots... that sort of thing. You will also want to formulate your master plan carefully (crush, kill and conquer is usually a good starting point). Strategic alliances that you will break later are also a good idea. When you finally feel you are ready, unleash your dogs of war on a (preferably unsuspecting) world. Send forth destruction and take over the planet in one fell swoop. (easy as that...)
The downfall to this, as I have mentioned, is that what's left is hardly worth keeping (I suppose it's the effort that counts though)
The sheer crushing force of one or more multinational corporations is another way to take over the world, and is also a more realistic one. By focusing your efforts on economic power and corporate influence, you can achieve complete control without using a single soldier. However, what you will need to do is make the global market is dependent on you for the products you make and jobs you provide, and then collect enough land holdings to become a global necessity. Not long after this your corporation will gain supreme power. Your decisions will influence millions of people, and the prosperity of the world will depend upon your ambivalence. Provided you have any, that is.
NB does this sort of company sound familiar to anyone...
Shadow governments and secret societies is yet another option open to those wishing world domination. Rather than being the one in the spotlight (i.e. the presidents and dictators who make themselves an obvious target) you can instead go the route of being the power behind the throne. The ancient conspiracy secretly pulling the strings and influencing events on a worldwide scale. To do this you will need to infiltrate every aspect of life. Hide your agents inside the current government (and any opposition parties), as well as the military and post office. Should anyone begin to suspect anything simply eliminate and then replace them. Before long you could be influencing issues of real importance, and though your actions will remain unknown (except perhaps from conspiracy theorists, but who listens to them), your control of the planet will be complete.
This is a personal favorite as there is least risk of being found out, and if something goes wrong you don't get the blame ;-)
One of the more truly evil means by which to take over the world is through the use and manipulation of belief systems. Where you become spokesman behind a particular ideology, one so powerful and mindless there is no choice but for it to sweep the planet. Religion is the best example of this, though political movements can work as well. The main thing to do with this method is construct a belief system so sinister that people actually want to follow it. One based on hatred and general loathing of humanity, with some bit at the end on how you are the one true god. Once the message is strong enough, every person on Earth will slowly fall under your control. You will be crowned the Spiritual King. After this the world will be yours to command.
The mix of politics and religion is a very powerful method of controlling masses, making the smallest of crimes a hell-worthy sin. Unfortunately, this all takes time, and can be fairly boring after it has been started, this being because you will rarely have to do anything. The only shortfall is it takes a lot to get the original momentum going. Being a well known science fiction author can help with this
This is a fairly new form of world domination (as the means for carrying it out are fairly new themselves), and one which has shown to be remarkably effective over the past few decades. Rather than using huge armies/war or multinational corporations to take over the world, you could just use the deceptive power of media and language. This is where you use the latest popular culture itself as a weapon, which is far more effective than any bomb. To achieve this, you will want to control every sort of information the people receive, and then set up the world in a "bubble" reality. The principal behind this is if the public doesn't know that a particular war is going on, or that we don't really need oil for cars, or that the president is a brain-sucking alien, then they can't get angry about it. There is also the option for you to promote specific views into the media people watch, they can then be manipulated into a mindset of your choice. People will think they are free but in reality be slaves, mindless and controlled by the very entertainment they pay to see. World domination for the new millennium.
In my view this is similar to the Shadow Method, but lacks the part where it tells you how to deal with government types etc, but a very good option for the general public. Note - similar themes have now appeared in the resurrected Doctor Who series (both uses of Satellite 5 in The Long Game and Bad Wolf)
Now you have read all that, it's time to pop that little bubble of hope for your own plans of World Dictatorship. Taking over the world isn't the hard thing to do, it's keeping it. (I know a couple of the methods can set a foundation to help with that, but none of them are anywhere near perfect), so as a last hint I recommend reading these.
Oh, and just so you know, I'm only going to use these as a basis for how to take over the world, so there's no point in trying to stop me from doing them ('course I could just be lying about the whole thing ;-) ). Besides, the cats have already taken over*, and good luck taking the world from them!
My last words on this subject is that being a domineering overlord/world leader is a bit like being a CEO Dictator god:
I don't care what the little people think, so there's no point in complaining when it happens. It won't get you anywhere! (Well, maybe shot...)